One of my greatest failings is that I don’t like to communicate unless it’s face-to-face. I loathe the telephone, am one of the laziest writers of e-mails (“fine. how’re u? cu soon” might as well be my patented text), don’t write letters on account of my right-handed chickenscratch (can’t manage calligraphy with that hand, and the left is constantly hurting badly in this weather), don’t even put any text besides “Nice here!” on postcards!
All this has made keeping in touch with people from my hometown, my college, my uni very hard, but somehow they don’t seem to care and neither do I. Every time I see one of them again I’m taken back to our last meeting, and that feeling seems to transcend the distance between us.
There is no such thing as falling out of love with your friends. They may betray you, they may push you more than you are comfortable with, they may even lose sight of you and you of them, but they will never stop loving you as the friends they are, just like you.
That’s what friends are for (and could someone please get rid of the singing trio in my head Right. Now!).
I’ve taken up physiotherapy for the left hand again. It’s not nice not being able to write well, or trying to grab a glass of water and having it crash to the floor due to your weak wrist. It’s been pure torture nonetheless, those three minutes I have to spend on a gyroball every day leave me in tears all the time. When my TKD master had me hit the bag yesterday it hurt bad enough to make me curl up around my hand, and I’ve gone on training with broken bones.
Doctor says one of my nerves might be caught on something again, especially as the hand feels cold and numb as well as painful. I really don’t want another operation, but if these heat/movement therapies and the constant bandaging don’t show results soon I might need it. There is no getting used to raw nerve pain. It hits like a tidal wave, never lets up and crushes you relentlessly. I don’t want to go back to that at all, I’d rather have my wrist cut open again and doctors exclaiming over pulverized bones there. I hope I won’t lose my sense of touch entirely, it’s already compromised in a couple fingers.
Will play a little piano now- it’s good therapy, and gets my hand moving when nothing else will. Maybe Schumann. I like Schumann.
… or maybe just some improvisation. Don’t feel up to much atm.
On a better note: If it keeps raining like this I will get to go running again in a week. Looking forward to seeing how far I can still go!